Saturday, 2 April 2022


Turned 80, does that mean I prepare to go to "death row?" Sure hope not, I want another 10 years and maybe another 10 after that. Even want to see 105 years old! But on my terms.

Not in some doctor's office with him telling me I need tests for every imaginary illness there is. Not for me the endless suffering of nurses waking me to ask if I want a sleeping pill.

The lab ladies who need their jobs and return twice a day with an excuse that they need more blood. The tech who never says good morning. Me lying in bed confused because I am so full of drugs. Asking a nurse "when will my doctor arrive". "When can I go home?"

He arrives with a full house of helpers - students that is. I hear mumble jumble of words, not directed at me, directed at the nurses who seem to be in complete confusion.

Poof - he's gone! without one word for me, who has been waiting for hours to ask him results of all the tests I took.

I run down the hall half naked in my paper hospital gown, I grab his arm to get his attention, he smiles and tells me all is well, I have "dry eyes".

All those machines,all the long hours sitting in hallways waiting to find out what my health situation is. I will not sit in another doctors hallway or office.

No no people that is not how I wish to spend my last 20 years of life. I want to live, have fun, do all the stuff they say I should never do. I wanna use this body until it has spent all the life in it. I wanna laugh in their faces at 105 years old. Anyone blame me?

December 09. 2021

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